It doesn't matter

Have you ever been in a situation where you feel like nothing is going right? What do you do in times like that? How do you deal with everything?

To be honest, I just let it out. This of course depends on the situation itself, whether it leads to me crying my eyes out, drowning it out with music or diverting my attention to something else. Usually, the option of crying my eyes out wins in most cases, but only because it's uncontrollable.

I should try to develop a stronger 'back bone' as some would call it. I just need to care less, that's it. I am one of those people who over analyze and overreact in a situation and I only do this because I care about what people think of me, whether or not they even notice.

I'm not sure where this sense of 'trying to please everyone' comes into play but maybe it's because I've always been nice to people and so they in return are thankful for me or my actions. And so the thought of letting someone down is just horrible for me and would make me feel like a failure (<----example of me overreacting). I'm also not saying that I would go to extreme measures to get a task done for someone who had asked me but if its something I can do, then it'll be done. 

The only thing wrong with this is that it's physically impossible to please everyone and still be happy with yourself (unless you're a robot). In order to be happy about your life, you first have to be happy with yourself. Being able to accept who you are is the main thing, it's quite difficult to do that because we've spent years trying to change ourselves and now we just have to accept what we have and do the best with it.

I can't speak for myself in saying that I'm happy with who I am but it really helps when there are amazing people surrounding my life who make me appreciate the small things about my quirky little self. And it's odd because the qualities that others find admirable about me, is usually the things I deny about myself. It's also great that there are people who comfort me and are concerned when horrible things happen in my life (like getting a 75 on an assignment, jk/I cried still).

Anyway, I've learned to appreciate these hidden treasures and am more than grateful for the amazing people that I call friends. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is people will love you for who you are and if they don't, then they don't matter.

-betty;

P.S even before publishing this post, I thought about what people will think. Whatever.